On The Errors in Carrie Bradshaw

This is what Hollywood sells you about the single life; four single ladies sitting in a bar, wearing their evening best, living it up in Margaritaville, undaunted by the grim of spinsterhood. They wear the best dress and they glide around town in the highest possible stilettos.

Instead of the Koran and the Bible, these girls [smug pause], they swear on their Chanel.

Every week they wake up next to that guy with Johnny-Depp's-chin-and-Orlando-Bloom's-everything-else, write a thank you note on a piece of hotel paper, tip toe out of the room and slowly close the door behind them. They do not want to wake up the sleeping Johnny-Depp's-chin-and-Orlando-Bloom's-everything-else, because they forgot to bring along their Bobbi Brown.

This is the reality; The same shit is still going on at work, you wonder why you don't just commit sati right there in your cube. You still get stuck in the same traffic jam, which also gives you enough time to dwell on the end of your relationship. Sometimes you wonder if you'll die not finding another boyfriend. But most times, you dwell on the end of your relationship. And then you come home, lie on the bed, and you're afraid of taking the shower because you know, the shower head invites you to cry with it.

You're afraid of the nights too, because a war is always raging in your head, and you do all this alone in your room because you do not want your mom (assuming you're still staying with your mom) to witness an atomic bomb mushroom cloud coming out from your head.

Sure, you seem to have more time for indulgence. Just a couple of weeks ago i bought shoes that i know Carrie Bradshaw will approve. I bought jeggings. JEGGINGS! Three years too late but hey, have you got yours? If not, you're either too fat for a pair of jeggings or you don't know what it is. I've gone for countless manicures, spas, facials and I made them my weekly routine. All of these totaled up to RM 700 per month, which i call the Beauty Fees.

I passed a personal law to make the beauty fee a necessity. 

However, these pleasures, they only serve as stop-gap measures to the actual pain. By the time you realized the errors in Carrie Bradshaw, not only you've earned bad reputation, you're also broken.

And broke.

Three months ago, the very core of my being shifted like an earthquake and seemed to have perpetuated for centuries. Finding closure is painful. It made me manic and I question my disposition every day. There are times i wanted to heal my pain by abusing substances.

But i didn't.

And in my stubbornness to legalize substance and alcohol, I found that closure is an unnecessary pain.

There is no need to say our goodbyes, because wherever he goes, we will always be in each other's heart.

My journey would have been longer and far more painful had i relented. 

Let me also point out that Carrie Bradshaw's relationship with the commitment phobic Mr.Big went on for six seasons.

 I cannot repeat this cycle for 6 seasons.

That's the kind of thought that leads someone to start drinking vodka at 9 o' clock in the morning.