Of Conflicting Self

I needed to make friends, quickly. 

That's when i met my ex's close friend, Fred.

I didn't know what happened, but one thing led to another and i can't help but to feel that i am being pursued.

A lot has changed since, for me, especially. I didn't mind going thru thick and thin with my ex, because i loved him unconditionally and we were together for more than a decade.

But now that i get to choose, i'd rather not live life the hard way.

A few months ago, a friend said that the problem with women is, we are high maintenance.

I was offended! I am self-sustaining, thank you very much.

But now, a list or a prerequisite doesn't sound too bad. I just think it's stupid to settle for someone now. Sure, you think im materialistic, but hey, I wasted 13 years not being one! 

Is it worth it?

I don't know.

So, I am conflicted. While i hate being materialistic and high maintenance  I really want to look out for number one now; Me.

And so, i moved on, with only myself in my head.