Of Bravery

Those who know of my break up asked me why I put a six-month time frame to my recovery. 

Six months of being in limbo, of not dating, of sitting and waiting.

They asked what happens if the one i should be with came along, but I was blinded to him?

Recovery is a process. Slow but surely.

Someone reckoned that if i were to sleep next to someone, skin to skin, but nothing else happened, that's real strength  But if i build my wall high up and not letting anyone in, that's fake courage. Because there is no risk and danger.

One of the many reasons why I don't share my story with the masses is this experience is too painful to talk about. And many inputs from various sources clouds my judgment even more. Sometimes the fog is so thick, I can't even see past my own nose!

I am determined to heal properly. Minimize mistakes. I don't want to be rash. I want to be 100% certain of my decision. I don't want to leave any open doors.

I will know when i'm brave enough to love again.